As I was driving to work this morning I listened to a time old discussion, the good ole light skin vs. dark skin debate. The discussion (from the Russ Par morning show) was sparked by a comment made by Tameka Foster-Raymond, Usher's new wife, in an interview with Essence magazine. She said, "We (black women) don't like ourselves. If I were Hispanic, Usher would have the sexiest wife alive. If I were mixed, he'd have the sexiest wife alive. But he has a black girl, and it's like,'She's horrible and she's ugly!'"
Wow. My initial thought was, "no, most people don't like you Tameka because you have a nasty demeanor and if the rumors are true, you have separated him from his mother and caused a lot of family drama!" But on second thought, she just might have a (valid but sad) point.
Why is all this relevant to the baby's blog????
Well I must say, I have held back from discussing this much but I have been both offended and hurt by the way some people have reacted to my son's BEAUTIFUL BROWN SKIN! I can't tell you how many times I have had to deal with the "Why is he so dark?" comment coupled with the screw face or the inquisitive look. Amazingly, my integrity has been questioned because of my son's complexion! People stare at MJ like they are trying to see if they see any resemblence to Anthony because you know, he's momma's baby but daddy's maybe! It's sickening.
I understand that most people looked at Anthony and I and assumed that our offspring would be "light skin" but guess what, if you look at BOTH of our families, there are very BEAUTIFUL BROWN people. Don't worry, I have chalked everyone's insensitive comments up to ignorance. And don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with commenting on his complexion. Both Anthony and I commented on his complexion when we saw him for the first time. What makes it offensive is when its coupled with the screw face that suggests that there is something wrong with his complexion.
My brother Roger used to always tell my sister Shonda and I that "dark skin" people are treated horribly by "light skin" black people. Yes it was a gross generalization but nevertheless, I often ignored his comment because it was not something that I had personally experienced. You know, the same way some white people will disregard the notion that racism still exists because they don't personally have to deal with it. Well, now Roger I am sorry to say, I know exactly where you are coming from!
I don't so much mind dealing with other people's ignorance because I am used to it but I was (no longer am) hurt thinking that my son would still have to experience discrimination from his own people both black and Puerto Rican because he has a very beautiful brown complexion.
Nevertheless, I'll celebrate his beautiful black skin even if no one else will. It is a testament to just how diverse black AND Puerto Rican families can be. I am proud to have birthed the brownest baby in the Pryor family (I think MJ has Melanie Arlene beat). I plan to teach my children and nieces and nephews to not fall prey to this never ending debate regarding light skin vs. dark skin. And I pray that someday, a post like this won't be necessary!
MJ & Amaya's Adventures!!
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WOW! I can write forever on this topic but will keep is short. Let me be the first to comment and commend you Sharese on expressing how you feel. I remember having conversation with you about how people have pointed out MJs complexion but the fact that you had to comment on it makes me feel that it has been too much of a discussion/problem for some people and weighed on your heart. Like you said, there are ignorant people and unfortunatley in your own family but it never crossed my mind to debate his skin tone. I myself coming from diverse parents and I NEVER questioned my mother's fair skin and light eyes because it DIDN'T MATTER. It was my MOTHER and MJ is your SON! He is beautiful and such a happy baby and the people that count know this. You and Anthony need to continue to be the great parents that you are to him and his future brother's and sister's (no rush-lol).
ReplyDeleteI had no idea this was going on so much. Overall, yes it is sad because we are in a new millennium and it's this same old “brown paper bag” issue. If people are that concerned then they should look past MJ's complexion and look and the very strong features that he has from both his parents and there should not be any confusion. I remember growing up and having other people tell me my mother is not my mother or the comments of being adopted because I didn’t look like my mother, followed by having to explain that I look like my dad, it does get tired and old after a while. The important thing is to teach him to be proud of whom he is, where he comes from. And from my point of view I think he is adorable and he has a distinguished look all of his own.
ReplyDeleteMY MY MY! All I can say is thank GOD for Strong black mothers! Girl u keep up the good work and to all those people who have ever looked at ur son in a negative light because of his skin color, just say" IN jesus name Be blessed". God made ur son in his eye and he will go on to do great things! Girl Please the Blacker the Berry the Sweeter the Juice!!! Keep doing what u do!!!!
ReplyDeleteGirl, it's the same with Ivan and I. We constantly get that the boys are DEFINITELY mine, but are they really Ivan's? Everyone assumes because they're part Puerto Rican that they'll have darker skin. Well, you've seen the boys. Erik is WHITE as white can be, and Alex barely shows that Puerto Rican complexion. It comes from both ends of the spectrum hun. You get to a point that you do chalk it up to ignorance and just live your life with your family. Way to be. Miss ya'll. Give MJ and Anthony besos from us all....and some for you too. Love ya!!!
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